So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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