sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
