i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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