I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
