I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
