well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
