I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
