I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
