Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize