I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
