I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize