11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
