I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
