Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
