He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
