What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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