I got her a Nickelback box set.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
