Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Do vagina's smell?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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