dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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