the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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