so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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