we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
