My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
