I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
