I have demons in me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
