Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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