There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My penis needs a shock collar
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
