what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
