i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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