I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize