We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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