No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
