I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
