nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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