as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize