Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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