based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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