Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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