I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
