the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
