If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
