But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
