Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize