Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
