For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
