What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
