And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
