My balls are so social today.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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