Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
