the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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