we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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