well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
