even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
