Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
