i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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