How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
