..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
