READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
