i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
