i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
vagina is talking i cant
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
PANTIES FOUND
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