nutella sex= disaster
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize